Growing up with an unknowingly manic-depressive mother for the first 17 years of my life, contributed to a lot of confusion, shame, and guilt around what I thought I was responsible for. My mother's well-being.

I watched a woman live her life in immense pain, ashamed of owning who she was. Isolating herself from people when she felt discomfort, lying about what she did for a living, and self-sacrificing every penny she had to maintain a lifestyle to keep up with “the joneses”.

Nothing felt authentic, and she was exhausted trying to ‘keep it all together’. Her mental state degenerated over the years, and as a child I found myself believing I was responsible for her experience. I spent most of my childhood attempting to tend, fix, or calm her down when she was activated. I didn’t realise it then, but my ‘normal’ day-to-day experience, was a mentally unstable person’s reality. I had inherited her self-doubt, fear of expressing herself, and lack of awareness of her needs.

This led to me spending the majority of my life living for everyone but myself and trying to keep it all together - until I eventually burnt out from overwork and overwhelm. Life eventually forced its’ hand and I was invited to face the darker corners of my life.

I came to recognise that I was sharing headspace with a bully, that my deepest fears held an immense source of strength, and that I had no idea what I needed because the thought of asking myself that question never occurred to me.

This realisation changed the trajectory of my life. I sought out new tools to support my mindscape through vipasanna meditation, deepen my body awareness through somatic experiencing therapy, and find my voice through authentic relating.

And my entire outlook and experience on life changed - forever.